Computer jokes

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.” What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

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my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

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what is a computers favorite snack? cookis!

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Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

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whats the difference between a white kid and a computer? the child has no trouble shooting

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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?” The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.” “Yeah, that’s the one!”

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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You make the juice go through my power brick.

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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Whats the difference between and abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+delete

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