Computer jokes

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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You make the juice go through my power brick.

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Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married? Because they had a connection

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What’s missing in an orphanage computer? The mother board

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one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard

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Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

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I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

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