Computer jokes

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just hacked the chrime

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I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

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What did the HP say to a dell : Hello!

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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whats the difference between paul walker and a computer? i give a f@ck if my computer crashes

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one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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whats the difference between a white kid and a computer? the child has no trouble shooting

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”

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I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

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Whats the difference between and abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+delete

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