One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?” The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.” “Yeah, that’s the one!”
What’s a aliens favorite computer key? the space bar!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smart phone? It doesn’t know jack.
whats the difference between paul walker and a computer? i give a f@ck if my computer crashes
What was the computer’s best pickup line? Nice bits
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.” What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
Why was the Computer late to work? Coz it had a hard drive… LMAO
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
RUS | ENG
