Computer jokes

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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what’s the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer? i don’t know I have both what is the difference between hilary duff and a computer? you only have to punch information into a computer once.

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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Why was the Computer late to work? Coz it had a hard drive… LMAO

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Why is Steven Hawkins arrested? The police used computer GPS

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What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common? They’re both inside jobs.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel

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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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How did the inkjet printer kill himself? He drank cyan-ide.

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