Computer jokes

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

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If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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You must have a good power supply, because you’re easy to turn on!

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What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist? The school bully does not hide behide there computer screen.

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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What’s a aliens favorite computer key? the space bar!

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Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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Why is the iPhone 7 not a smart phone? It doesn’t know jack.

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What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system? Motherboard.

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