Computer jokes

One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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What did the HP say to a dell : Hello!

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Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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What’s missing in an orphanage computer? The mother board

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel

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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?” The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.” “Yeah, that’s the one!”

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What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? “Stop it! It hertz so much!”

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What’s a aliens favorite computer key? the space bar!

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

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A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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