Computer jokes

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

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What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system? Motherboard.

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Why can’t Orphans have a computer? They don’t have a home page.

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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just hacked the chrime

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Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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whats do computers and white kids have in common? They don’t have trouble shooting

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

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What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? “Stop it! It hertz so much!”

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”

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