There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? “Stop it! It hertz so much!”
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
What was the computer’s best pickup line? Nice bits
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard
What does a baby computer call its father- Data
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smart phone? It doesn’t know jack.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married? Because they had a connection
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT
What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
Why is Steven Hawkins arrested? The police used computer GPS
I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig
get off your computer jessie jex
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.
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