Computer jokes

whats the difference between a white kid and a computer? the child has no trouble shooting

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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why is stephen hawking an organ donator? because he saved 200 computers.

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When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why is Steven Hawkins arrested? The police used computer GPS

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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

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How did the computer get out of the house? He used windows.

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What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common? They’re both inside jobs.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well Tech-ically we can’t talk.”

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?” The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.” “Yeah, that’s the one!”

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What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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What does a shark and a computer have in common? They both have megabites.

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