“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
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