Dark Humor

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

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