Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
RUS | ENG
