Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
RUS | ENG
