Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
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