I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
My life Tell me when you get it
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
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