If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
RUS | ENG
