The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
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