Dark Humor

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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