I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
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