So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
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