I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
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