911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
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