Dark Humor

They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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