Dark Humor

An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

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