Dark Humor

are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder

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