I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
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