Dark Humor

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car

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Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found

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