I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
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