Dark Humor

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.