A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
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