I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
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