What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
RUS | ENG
