I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
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