Dark Humor

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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