1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
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