i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
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