one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
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