Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
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