what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
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