Dark Humor

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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