Dark Humor

What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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