What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
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