What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
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