Dark Humor

a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

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You use your legs as support you count on your fingers

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging

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