Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
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