Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
RUS | ENG
