what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
RUS | ENG
