why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
RUS | ENG
