They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
RUS | ENG
