A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
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