Dark Humor

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026