Dark Humor

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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