Dark Humor

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

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I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live

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There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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