I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
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