Dark Humor

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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