If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
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