whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
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