A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
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