Dark Humor

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

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Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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