A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Being sad is my only happiness
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
RUS | ENG