why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
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