Dark Humor

life’s too short to want it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026