What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
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