Dark Humor

What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife

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why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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