why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
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