Dark Humor

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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