Dark Humor

Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

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Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan

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I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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