Dark Humor

why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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