I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
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