Dark Humor

Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

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When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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