Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
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