What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
RUS | ENG
