Dark Humor

Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026