I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
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