are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
RUS | ENG
