what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
RUS | ENG
