What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
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