I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
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