where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
RUS | ENG
