I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
RUS | ENG
