If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
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