Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
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