Dark Humor

I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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