Dark Humor

I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin

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