Dark Humor

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime

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