Dark Humor

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”

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How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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