I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
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