What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
RUS | ENG