Dark Humor

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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