Dark Humor

I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush

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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin

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I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

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What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…

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