Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
My life Tell me when you get it
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