What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
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