Dark Humor

Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

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I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

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