Dark Humor

Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

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Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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