Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
RUS | ENG
