An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
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