Dark Humor

I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore

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If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.

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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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