If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
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