Dark Humor

Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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