Dark Humor

I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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