What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
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