Dark Humor

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

what game does an emo love hang man

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

My life Tell me when you get it