Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
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