Dark Humor

Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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