“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
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