Dark Humor

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

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WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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