Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
My life Tell me when you get it
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
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