I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
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