When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
RUS | ENG
