I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
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