Dark Humor

Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging

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A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car