Dark Humor

my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!

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I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

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Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall

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