I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
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