Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
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