Dark Humor

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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