Dark Humor

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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