Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
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