Dark Humor

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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