Dark Humor

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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