What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
RUS | ENG
