Dark Humor

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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