what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
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