Dark Humor

My life Tell me when you get it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026