What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
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