My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
RUS | ENG