grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
RUS | ENG