Dark Humor

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

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I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

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Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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