You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
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