Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
RUS | ENG
