Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
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