3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
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