My life Tell me when you get it
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
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