I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
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