Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
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