Dark Humor

what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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Being sad is my only happiness

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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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what game does an emo love hang man

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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