What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
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