Dark Humor

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

-2

-1

* * *

What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

-2

-1

I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

-2

-1

* * *

I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

-2

-1

* * *

I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

-2

-1

* * *

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

-2

-1

* * *

I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

-2

-1

* * *

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

-2

-1