Dark Humor

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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