Dark Humor

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

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I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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