They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
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