I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
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