Dark Humor

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

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