Dark Humor

after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…

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I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

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I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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