Dark Humor

Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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