A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
RUS | ENG