What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
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