Dark Humor

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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