What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
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