Dark Humor

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?

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what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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My life Tell me when you get it

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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