Dark Humor

Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

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Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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