Dark Humor

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

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my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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