Dark Humor

What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

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Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

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