There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
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