Dark Humor

My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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