What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
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