Dark Humor

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs

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Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush

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Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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