if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
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