Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
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