Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
RUS | ENG
