Dark Humor

I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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My life Tell me when you get it

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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