my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
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