I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
RUS | ENG
