Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
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