knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
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