Dark Humor

Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

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I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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life’s too short to want it.

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder

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