Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
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