When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
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