Dark Humor

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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