Dark Humor

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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