Dark Humor

The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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