I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
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