What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
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