Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
RUS | ENG