Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
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