Dark Humor

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush

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I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

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I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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