I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
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