A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
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