What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Being sad is my only happiness
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.’’ “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ‘‘OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!’’
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
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