Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
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