U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
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