a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
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