i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
RUS | ENG
