Dark Humor

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs

They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”