They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
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