Dark Humor

Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

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are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

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