Dark Humor

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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