Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
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