Dark Humor

What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

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Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

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