Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
RUS | ENG
