I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
RUS | ENG
