Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
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