I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
RUS | ENG
