Dark Humor

Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026