You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
RUS | ENG
