Dark Humor

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026