Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
RUS | ENG
