I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
RUS | ENG
