Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
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