I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
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