Dark Humor

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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