Dark Humor

A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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life’s too short to want it.

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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You use your legs as support you count on your fingers

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