Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
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