They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
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