Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
My life Tell me when you get it
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
RUS | ENG
