what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
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