I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
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