I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
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