Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
RUS | ENG
