Dark Humor

Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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