Dark Humor

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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