So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
RUS | ENG
