I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
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