What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
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