3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
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