What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
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