There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
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