Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
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