What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
RUS | ENG
