I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
RUS | ENG