Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
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