Dark Humor

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs

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Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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