Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
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