If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
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