What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
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