Dark Humor

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.

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My life Tell me when you get it

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

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What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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