What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
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