Dark Humor

What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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