Dark Humor

my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”

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