Dark Humor

Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026