A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
RUS | ENG