A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
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