Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
RUS | ENG
