Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
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