Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
RUS | ENG