Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
My life Tell me when you get it
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
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