You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
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