Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
RUS | ENG
