You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
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