Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Being sad is my only happiness
RUS | ENG