Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
My life Tell me when you get it
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
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