If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
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