The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
RUS | ENG
