Dark Humor

Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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