Dark Humor

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

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Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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