my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
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