Dark Humor

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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