I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
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