Dark Humor

My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

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i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking