Dark Humor

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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