I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
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