When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
RUS | ENG
