The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
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