why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
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