Dark Humor

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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