What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
RUS | ENG
