Dark Humor

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In

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What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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