yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
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