Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
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