people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
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