I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
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