Dark Humor

Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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