are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
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