why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
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