Dark Humor

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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