Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
RUS | ENG
