I don"t think I’m allergic to this
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
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