Dark Humor

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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My life Tell me when you get it

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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