I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
RUS | ENG
