Dark Humor

i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

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To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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