My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
RUS | ENG
