Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
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