Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
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