whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
RUS | ENG