Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
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