I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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