Dark Humor

Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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