what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
RUS | ENG