I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
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