I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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