When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
RUS | ENG
