Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
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