I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
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