They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
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