Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
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