I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
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