I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
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