i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
RUS | ENG
