Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
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