What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
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