I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
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