I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
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