Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
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