Dark Humor

what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

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