When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
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