I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
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