Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
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