Dark Humor

(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE

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i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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