Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
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