What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
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