When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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