I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
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