Dark Humor

why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’

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The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife

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A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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