What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
what game does an emo love hang man
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
RUS | ENG
