I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
RUS | ENG
