Dark Humor

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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