“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Being sad is my only happiness
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
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