What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
RUS | ENG
