Dark Humor

my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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