You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
RUS | ENG
