Dark Humor

why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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