My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.’’ “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ‘‘OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!’’
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
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