Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
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