Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
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