What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
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