Dark Humor

I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026