Dark Humor

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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