Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
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