This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
RUS | ENG