Dark Humor

You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

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A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog

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Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T

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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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