Dark Humor

What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

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“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

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What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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