Dark Humor

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

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Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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