I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
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