Dark Humor

whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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