Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
RUS | ENG