Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
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