Dark Humor

Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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