Dark Humor

if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

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A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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