How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
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