Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
My life Tell me when you get it
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