They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
My life Tell me when you get it
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
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