my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
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