If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
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