i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
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