Dark Humor

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs

I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"