“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
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