Dark Humor

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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