Dark Humor

I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

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Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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