Dark Humor

Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

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Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE

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Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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