Dark Humor

Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it

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My life Tell me when you get it

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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