Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
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