If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
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