“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
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