Dark Humor

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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I remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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Grandfathers last words:Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words: you know how to use that hammer Dads last words: Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words: Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought: am I a murder

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …

A FLATLINE!

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

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The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

No witnessess

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball

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Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.

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Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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