Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
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