What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
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