I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
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