Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
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