what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
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