Dark Humor

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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