You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
RUS | ENG
