Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
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