Dark Humor

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026