Dark Humor

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025