Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
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