Dark Humor

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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life’s too short to want it.

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Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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