Dark Humor

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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