I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
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