A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
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