They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
life’s too short to want it.
RUS | ENG
