Dark Humor

why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025