Dark Humor

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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