did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
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