Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
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