What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
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