What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
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