What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
RUS | ENG
