Dark Humor

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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