Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
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