Dark Humor

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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life’s too short to want it.

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

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My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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