What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
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