What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
RUS | ENG
