Dark Humor

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

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why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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