Dark Humor

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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