Dark Humor

What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

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A emo texted a tree wanna hang out… The tree ghosted her

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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