Dark Humor

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you

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What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

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Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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“Hold my beer, watch this.”

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Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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