Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
life’s too short to want it.
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
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