Dark Humor

(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

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