Dark Humor

a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026