Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
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