**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
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