I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
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