Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
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