Dark Humor

What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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