Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
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