Dark Humor

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026