Dark Humor

if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026