What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
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