Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
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