Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
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