Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
RUS | ENG
