I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
RUS | ENG
