Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
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