What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
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