Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
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