Dark Humor

Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

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