Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
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