The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
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