Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
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