Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
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