Dark Humor

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.

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“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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