Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
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