Dark Humor

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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