Dark Humor

Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

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I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

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My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”

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why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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Being sad is my only happiness

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My life Tell me when you get it

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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