Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
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