Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
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