I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
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