what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
RUS | ENG
