Dark Humor

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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