Dark Humor

Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

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I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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