Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
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