What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
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