Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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