Dark Humor

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

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whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of

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Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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life’s too short to want it.

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I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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