A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
This whole page is pure trash. f@ck all of you.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
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