Dark Humor

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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What’s the difference between a coat hangerband an emo? Nothing that both hang

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

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