I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
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