why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
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