my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
RUS | ENG
