My life Tell me when you get it
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
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