Dark Humor

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

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my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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