What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
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