What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
RUS | ENG
