You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
RUS | ENG
