What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
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