Dark Humor

im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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My life Tell me when you get it

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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