A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
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