Dark Humor

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

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Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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