What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
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