Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
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