Dark Humor

Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

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What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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