I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
RUS | ENG
