Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
life’s too short to want it.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
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