Dark Humor

Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”

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“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

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