Dark Humor

What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

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people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

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To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

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where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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