Dark Humor

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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