A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
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