“Hold my beer, watch this.”
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
RUS | ENG
