I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
RUS | ENG
