Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
life’s too short to want it.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
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