Dark Humor

i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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