i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
RUS | ENG
