Dark Humor

Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead

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Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

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All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE

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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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