Dark Humor

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A Doberman in a playground.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage:)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


My sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”

Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”

Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”

Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”

Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024