Dark Humor

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026