A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
life’s too short to want it.
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
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