Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
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