My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
RUS | ENG
