I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
RUS | ENG
