Dark Humor

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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