What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
life’s too short to want it.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
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