Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
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