3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
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