I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
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