Dark Humor

i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree

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Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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