Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
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