You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
What do you call a cow with two legs Answer: Your mom
My life Tell me when you get it
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
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