The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
life’s too short to want it.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
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