My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
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