What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
My life Tell me when you get it
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
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