Dark Humor

What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026