What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
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