Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest? to see who’s hanging around.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
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