Dark Humor

i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”

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my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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