Dark Humor

I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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