So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
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