Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
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