Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
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