whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
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