Dark Humor

Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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“Hold my beer, watch this.”

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

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Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

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An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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