Dark Humor

They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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