I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
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