Dark Humor

I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up

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Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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