Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
you tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
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