Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
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