Dark Humor

The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026