“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
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