Dark Humor

Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”

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I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

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