I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
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