Dark Humor

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree

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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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