people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
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