Dark Humor

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.

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I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

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What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner. 

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging

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Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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