Dark Humor

I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

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Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T

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I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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