Dark Humor

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

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Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

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