Dark Humor

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

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When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

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Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

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What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

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