why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
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