I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
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