Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
My life Tell me when you get it
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
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