Dark Humor

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026