Dark Humor

Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging

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are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

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Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees

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