I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
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