Dark Humor

I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

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“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…

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What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

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