“Hold my beer, watch this.”
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
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