i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
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