What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Ill never forget my mother last words. What’s are doing with that sledge hammer i will never forget my girlfriends last words…"get off of me STOP"slurp…Dead
if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
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