Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
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