Dark Humor

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“Hold my beer, watch this.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026