Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
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