To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
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