Dark Humor

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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Being sad is my only happiness

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Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck

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Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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