All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
RUS | ENG
