Dark Humor

An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

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What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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