why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
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