Dark Humor

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

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My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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