Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
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