Dark Humor

Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging

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Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging

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It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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