Dark Humor

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

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Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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