why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
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