what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
i remember my grandfathers last words: “is that loaded?”
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
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