Dark Humor

To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

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I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

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What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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