my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
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