Dark Humor

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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