I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
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