why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
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