What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
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