I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
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