I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
I’ve looked everywhere… I just can’t seem to find where I left my will to live
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Being sad is my only happiness
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
RUS | ENG
