Dark Humor

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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I don"t think I’m allergic to this

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”

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