I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind
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