Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging
U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
All my jokes are cys for help INCLUDING THIS ONE
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
life’s too short to want it.
RUS | ENG
