If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words, “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
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