Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
life’s too short to want it.
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
What do you call a dog with no legs… My asian neighbors dinner.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
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