life’s too short to want it.
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Being sad is my only happiness
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
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