Dark Humor

I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!

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You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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