3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
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