Dark Humor

i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.

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A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.

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A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

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