Dark Humor

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026