Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
What does PEMDAS stand for? Please End My Depression And Suffering
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
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