Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
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