Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
what game does an emo love hang man
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
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