Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
My life Tell me when you get it
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
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