Dark Humor

When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage

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Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

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people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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