Dark Humor

Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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