Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
RUS | ENG
