The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
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