Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.
Being sad is my only happiness
RUS | ENG
