Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
“Oh waiter! Waiter!” “Yes sir?” “Do you have frog’s legs?” “Why yes” “Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
RUS | ENG
