why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
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