I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
Why were the cherries ?? crying? Because their parents were in a jam.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
RUS | ENG
