Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
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