Dark Humor

Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck

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The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline

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what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)

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Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

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