Dark Humor

Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees

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I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

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Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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