Dark Humor

My life Tell me when you get it

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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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