What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Q:What was my son’s last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
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