You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
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