I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help! Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights they are both going to be hanging from a tree
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I’ll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words “STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
RUS | ENG
