Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
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