Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Being sad is my only happiness
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed. The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!” As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”
I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going
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