I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
what is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid they both hang from trees
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
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