Dark Humor

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs

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I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

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The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

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Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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