I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
RUS | ENG
