What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Being sad is my only happiness
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose
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