Dark Humor

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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