Dark Humor

I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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if things dont get better the Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging

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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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what game does an emo love hang man

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Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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