Dark Humor

are you a rope? bc i wanna hang with you

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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