To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
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