U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.
Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
RUS | ENG