Dark Humor

I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

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What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately? Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow

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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry

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i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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