What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
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