Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? – Because the cow has the udder.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker Hop In
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”
life’s too short to want it.
RUS | ENG
