I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what’s that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what’s that in between your legs mom: oh that’s my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what’s that in between your legs dad: oh that’s my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there’s a snake Going in your bush
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
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