Dark Humor

a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

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life’s too short to want it.

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is. My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.

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I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

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How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.

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Being sad is my only happiness

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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