Dark Humor

I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

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i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.

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There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally

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When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

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what did the suicidal kid say to the tree? dont leave me hanging

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What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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