I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
what did the rope and the tree say to the kid do you want to hang later
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
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