1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
I will never forget my grandpa’s last words: Alahu-Akbar i will remember my aunties last word: if you shoot me you pen-s is small (gun shot)
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
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