a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef…haha…no one likes my jokes
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
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