Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig she started crying
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at you front door? Matt
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park. What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
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