Dark Humor

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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Why are washers better than babies? Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

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I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

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What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter he isn’t coming to you.

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Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

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