Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
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