It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging
Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
whats the difference between onions and babys? i cry when i cut onions.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
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