So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it’s a pinata… BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
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