Dark Humor

Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what "bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

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i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

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Any game: Are you a boy or a girl? Non-binary people: cries

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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

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