Dark Humor

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!

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life’s too short to want it.

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When its been halloween for a few months but there’s still a body hanging from your neighbours tree

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Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

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Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

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Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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