Dark Humor

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

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What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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knock knock who’s there? Depression medicine and therapy GO AWAY!

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Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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my grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen. no witnessess

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What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.

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