My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Being sad is my only happiness
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: ??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: ??????. My depression: ?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
where to people with no legs go to have fun? legno land
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