How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
I’ll remember my last words…“SORRY IM NOT SORRY”
Why can’t depressed people leave the maze? Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
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