I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying. Knock knock Who’s there Insomnia You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can "t cry myself to sleep anymore…
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
RUS | ENG