Dark Humor

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

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I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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