Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.
life’s too short to want it.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11… Allahu Akbar!
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions… Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they’re barcodes too.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
RUS | ENG
