I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions Onions was a good dog
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??
It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.
Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????
Why couldn’t the emo kid hang himself? After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn’t fit around his neck
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
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