Dark Humor

Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up

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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

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me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

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Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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