Dark Humor

My life Tell me when you get it

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Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”

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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every scene has a cast!

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I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

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Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

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these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid? One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”

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