So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.
What does a priest and a clown have in common? They both make children cry
I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
My grandma just died from cancer My last words to her were “I like your cut g”
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
RUS | ENG
