My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”
RUS | ENG
