Dark Humor

Gambler A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man. ” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

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The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.

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My life Tell me when you get it

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

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To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”

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Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging

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