where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.
I don’t see why people say that emo kid doesn’t like to hangout I seen them hanging all day.
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.’’ “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ‘‘OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!’’
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common? they both look good hanging from a tree
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
RUS | ENG
