Dark Humor

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I don"t think I’m allergic to this

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026