Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Me: want to play 911 My little brother: what’s that Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.
What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies
I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him. “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.” “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls, ” replies the nun. “I didn’t want to get drafted either.”
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a pinata
I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
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