A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
What’s under the bottom? Your legs.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts! ” I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”
I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
i will always remember my grandfathers last words “ill just check if its poisonous”.
Last word of mayor of Hiroshima: ‘what the f@ck was that noise?’ What where Stephens last words “battery low”
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
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