I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common? Both eight legs
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"
what do emos and the lorax have in common? they both hang with trees
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists
i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
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