A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry
Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day…but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
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