Dark Humor

i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

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A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant “let it go”

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What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

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why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person? They both hang…

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My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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