Dark Humor

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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

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My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn’t feel his legs, i replied “OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR f@ckING ARMS!”

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A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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