Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f@cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? ERROR 101
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
why did the depressed person cross the road. to get ran over.
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
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