A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Yes I’m CUTE C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty
what game does an emo love hang man
Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
Me- crying in the shower Also me- why is my toaster in here?
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say. “Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say. “Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder Stephen hawking
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
why do we tell actors to break a leg … so they can get in the cast!
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