Dark Humor

Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.

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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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I can’t hang out with a emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply

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So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

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What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder

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Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

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So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

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