my grandpa’s last words were before died in vietnam was what f@ck did i step on…
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
I remember my uncles last words: “I don’t think were going shooting today.”
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself
What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
what do depressed people and Apple’s have in common? they both hang from trees
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob
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