Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.” So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.” When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?” The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…” i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…
did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad’s half sister.
RUS | ENG
