Dark Humor

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

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What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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Grandpa’s last words,why do you have a chain saw

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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What did the rope say to me? “hey there man, you wanna hang later?”

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What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit? A DEPPression. (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

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What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses? They both leave you Hanging

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Watches sad movie with family Everyone else: Crying Sister: How aren’t you crying? Me: I have no tear left to cry…

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My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman

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Bro I love hanging out with white people, its either we play Yahtzee Or We Playin Nazi

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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