Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words : Turn of the stove when you’re done My last thought : am I a murder
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Famous last words: “Don’t worry man, it’s not even loaded.”
Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?
why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
RUS | ENG