What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you” Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”
Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??
I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose
I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says, " Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
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