I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What’s that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What made me laugh? The fact that my life is a joke:")
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.
RUS | ENG
