Dark Humor

Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

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did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound

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I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?

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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock “Who’s there?” Not Susie.

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Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

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