Dark Humor

i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.” if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

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Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW

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When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

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What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

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Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression Dark jokes are like water some people just don’t get it

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree? It left him hanging

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.

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