what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat
I don"t think I’m allergic to this
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Wanna hear somethin’ ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can’t stop cutting.
What’s the difference between a onion and a viola? No one cries when they cut up the viola
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Doberman in a playground.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says “Oh what chest!” " That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says “Oh what legs!’’ He says “That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.” After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says “Why were you running? ” She said I didn’t wanna be in there once I’ve seen how small the fuse was.”
Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
why do emos like circles because they can hang out with them
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