Me: Knock knock…Friend: who’s there? Me: I don’t know anymore
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
what do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.
How do you make a builder cry? Kill his family
Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: hangs up
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying? Because all of his friends argon
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
What was Steven Hawking’s last words? The windows xp log out sound
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
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