They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: I’m gonna sleep for a little.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . “You little bastard!”
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
I remember my grandfathers last words: Are you holding the ladder
I will remember my biker buddies last words ?Why did you cut in front of me?.
my advice to suicidal people: just hang in there ??
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