Dark Humor

I was speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and I told everybody his last words: “You still holding the latter?”

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i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?

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If you were a food what would you be? Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

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I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!

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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me let go of my nose

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If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee. Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!

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What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

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Whats Big, bounces, and make little kids cry? my donation to the orphanage :)

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I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

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The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging

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