Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
An Emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five… the tree left her hanging
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging… Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion ? One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”
My grandad broke his legs. To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
Me: Mom I’m tired Mom:then go to sleep Me: No you don’t understand-
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
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