An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five… …but it left him hanging.
The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up ??.
You should never leave a man hanging. Unless they are still alive…
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
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