I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later
What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
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