What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law… an out-law is wanted.
What the difference between a feminist and Hitler? Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender. Whats the difference between Stephen Hawking an a walkie talkie? Stephen cant walkie an stephen cant talkie
what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
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