What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What’s the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber ??
What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
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