My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife? The first is easier to bury.
What’s the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes
What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms” “Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends” “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground” “Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag” “Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus” “Why did Susie fall off the swing? ” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
you wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”
What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape
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