Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber ??
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
whats the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? nothing i slit both of them
What’s the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
What’s the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, “Once upon a time…” Black begins, " Yall mutherf@ckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid Depends who’s shooting What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Well at least one gets picked
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
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