Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.
%%whats the difference between my dad and cancer cancer dosent leave you
Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What’s the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it’ll die.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids? I don’t sell drugs.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
There is thin line between death and life !! You won’t live to see it … The Cardiogram will !!
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
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