What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
whats the difference between the twin towers and an ugly girl. the twin towers at least got f@cked.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto? A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan… So your the one !
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What is the differences an orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
RUS | ENG
