what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles
What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans
What’s the difference between drugs and kids? I don’t sell drugs.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
RUS | ENG
