What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber ??
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course. The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.” . Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.
RUS | ENG