Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between Hitler and a feminist? At least Hitler actually did something
What’s the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, “Once upon a time…” Black begins, " Yall mutherf@ckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid Depends who’s shooting What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Well at least one gets picked
What is the differences an orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
There is thin line between death and life !! You won’t live to see it … The Cardiogram will !!
what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
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