Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
What’s the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
What’s the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What’s the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…
whats the difference between a blonde and a car door: the harder you slam the blonde the looser it gets
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
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