How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between a knife and my life? A knife has a point.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant ? Because Ken comes in a different box !!!
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
What’s the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
what is the difference between stephen hawkings and a walkie talkie he doesnt walkie or talkie
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