Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms” “Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends” “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground” “Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag” “Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus” “Why did Susie fall off the swing? ” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries
whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
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