What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender. Whats the difference between Stephen Hawking an a walkie talkie? Stephen cant walkie an stephen cant talkie
whats the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? nothing i slit both of them
what the difference betwenn a feminist and Kim Jong un? Kim jong un has rights
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?? I don’t know, I just fly the drone
What’s the difference between an American 12 yearold and an African 12 year old? About 40 pounds.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
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