What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it’ll die.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord? A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.
Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What’s the difference between hitler and logan paul? At least hitler had respect for the japanese!
whats the difference between a blonde and a car door: the harder you slam the blonde the looser it gets
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil? One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning…
People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan… So your the one !
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