What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids? I don’t sell drugs.
People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms” “Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends” “Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground” “Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag” “Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus” “Why did Susie fall off the swing? ” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
What’s the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? – People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.
What’s the difference between light and hard? It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber ??
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