What’s the difference?

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Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

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What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

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What’s the difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

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what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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the difference between dark jokes and morbid is dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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