What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?? I don’t know, I just fly the drone
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later
whats the difference between a blonde and a car door: the harder you slam the blonde the looser it gets
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.
whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law… an out-law is wanted.
RUS | ENG
