Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
whats the difference between the twin towers and an ugly girl. the twin towers at least got f@cked.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
the difference between dark jokes and morbid is dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans
What’s the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
whats the difference between a cat and a bannana, its hard to peel a cat
What’s the difference between drugs and kids? I don’t sell drugs.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
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