Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender. Whats the difference between Stephen Hawking an a walkie talkie? Stephen cant walkie an stephen cant talkie
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil? One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning…
There is thin line between death and life !! You won’t live to see it … The Cardiogram will !!
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
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