Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant ? Because Ken comes in a different box !!!
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course. The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.” . Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”
What’s the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass
What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What’s the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
you wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
What’s the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss John Lennon
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.
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