What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Whats the difference between a feminist and a pencil? One of them has a POINT:)
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
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