What’s the difference?

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

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A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

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Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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What’s the difference between light and hard? It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.

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What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns

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Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

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What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…

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what the difference betwenn a feminist and Kim Jong un? Kim jong un has rights

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What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

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Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

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what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest a least one does something when it is triggered

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