What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
What’s the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss John Lennon
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What the difference between Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know but they both get harder the more you play with them
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
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