What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
What’s the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
what is the difference between stephen hawkings and a walkie talkie he doesnt walkie or talkie
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
What’s the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
Him: What’s The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com? Her: What? Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
the difference between dark jokes and morbid is dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
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