what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off
what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
whats the difference between the twin towers and an ugly girl. the twin towers at least got f@cked.
RUS | ENG
