What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
what’s the difference between a grape, apple and an arm? you don’t slice a grape
What’s the difference between drugs and kids? I don’t sell drugs.
how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Whats the difference between a feminist and a pencil? One of them has a POINT:)
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course. The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.” . Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
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