Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that” you might be
What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?? I don’t know, I just fly the drone
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.
Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
What’s the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan… So your the one !
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
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