What’s the difference between light and hard? It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator The fridge dont fart when you take your meat out
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What’s the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it’ll die.
What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest? They both came in a little behind.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
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