Dream jokes

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I slept like a log last night…woke up in the fireplace

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My hopes and dreams

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style? Is HE goated with the sauce?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026