Dream jokes

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream. You know, for his sake.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a fake speedrunner? Dream

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the silly girl ?? put sugar under her pillow? She wanted to have sweet dreams. ??

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026