I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted
My hopes and dreams
my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?
i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda turns out it was a fanta sea
He replied with ”when were you born?”
So a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says “is there a problem boyoh?”. “I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!”. The man reply’s “I’m a leprechaun”. “Really?” says the man. “That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper”. “Anything I want?! 3 of them?” reply’s the man. “Anything in your wildest dreams boyoh, but you have to let me finish”. The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts in in, thrusting back and forth he asks for the man’s first wish. “I want a giant yacht” “Aye”, says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now”. “For my second wish I want a billion dollars” the man says, beginning to sweat. “Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you” the leprechaun reply’s. “Okay”, the man groans in pain. “For my final wish I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women”. “You betcha boyoh” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW” as he lets out a moan of pleasure. The man exhausted and sore says “that was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?” The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”.
officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer! Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer! Axe it’s head, Axe it’s head. Axe it’s head defeat him. SUBSCRIBE!!!
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao
So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”
Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car
Yo mama so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn’t be inside her dreams.
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