Dream jokes

Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”

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People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams. In a white van.

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

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Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.

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Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

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Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow? So it could have sweet dreams.

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A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles

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my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

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I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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What do you call a fake speedrunner? Dream

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When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow When I woke I was being sexually abused

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I had a dream I was a muffler last night… I woke up EXHAUSTED ????

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