Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor
I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD
Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style? Is HE goated with the sauce?
Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”
officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless. I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
So a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says “is there a problem boyoh?”. “I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!”. The man reply’s “I’m a leprechaun”. “Really?” says the man. “That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper”. “Anything I want?! 3 of them?” reply’s the man. “Anything in your wildest dreams boyoh, but you have to let me finish”. The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts in in, thrusting back and forth he asks for the man’s first wish. “I want a giant yacht” “Aye”, says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now”. “For my second wish I want a billion dollars” the man says, beginning to sweat. “Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you” the leprechaun reply’s. “Okay”, the man groans in pain. “For my final wish I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women”. “You betcha boyoh” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW” as he lets out a moan of pleasure. The man exhausted and sore says “that was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?” The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream. You know, for his sake.
Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up
Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? cuz damn, you look like you came out of a dream.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted
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