One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.
Yo mama so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn’t be inside her dreams.
What kind of dreams do hotels have? Suite dreams
There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo
I had a dream that i was destroyin the world and i blew up my house for fun I woke up and couldnt find my pillow… Nor the house
My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”
A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said "in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Ole Ole Ole!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE! !!’ ‘OLE OLE OLE OLE!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.
officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”
Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless. I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
My hopes and dreams
Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
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