A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!
one day jack and jill went up a hill jack got jill drunk and horny then took her to a hotel becus jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick
What did Stephen Hawking’s wife say to him when he came home drunk? Nothing… she couldn’t tell.
we are drunk at the party, there was an A S S ton of drunk girls there with me…
A drunk guy runs into a bar… he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.
When i was 11 My mom came home from the bar super drunk that night and I just wanted to know if they knew where htm title=' noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.'>was the cat because I heard a noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
man drinks beer jumps off a tower and he’s okay the other guy says Whoa how’d you do that.he does it again so the guy gets a beer the same beer and jumps off he died.the bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says Superman you’re a real butthole whenever you’re drunk
What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? “Please get out of the pool.”
Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each htm title=' you get drunk and have a great time'>one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Jack and Jill went up the hill "cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3
What’s worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you? Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before… a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy
the real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs
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