Ex jokes

I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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what do call an ex lesbian ??? A Clitter Quitter

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands

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the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??

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My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!

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