the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
RUS | ENG
