My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
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