My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job
Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
#takemebacksophie
What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
RUS | ENG
