Ex jokes

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.

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What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(

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i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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