Ex jokes

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

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When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous

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Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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