My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there
What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX
i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.
What do you call a no r-med T-rex A T-ex
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
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