I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
what do call an ex lesbian ??? A Clitter Quitter
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
#takemebacksophie
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
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