Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
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