Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme
Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
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