Ex jokes

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

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I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

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What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

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I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex’s, so I was completely alone.

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Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

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