Ex jokes

What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme

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What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands

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It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit

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I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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my ex missis me but her aim is geting better

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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