Ex jokes

I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)

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