What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
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