Ex jokes

I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026