Ex jokes

My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex

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if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch

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Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.

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I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

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I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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