Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme
RUS | ENG
