Ex jokes

How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it

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I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

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What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.

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What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex? A roTHOT

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one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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