Ex jokes

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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#takemebacksophie

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the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

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My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers

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My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.

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It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”

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