My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
RUS | ENG