If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
what do call an ex lesbian ??? A Clitter Quitter
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there
RUS | ENG