Ex jokes

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

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if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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What do you call a no r-med T-rex A T-ex

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

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Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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