Ex jokes

What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.

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I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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#takemebacksophie

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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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