i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere
I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
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