My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
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