If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(
What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!
i find this website i see this person named gwen i simp fr her but just for a troll. next thing ik were some how dating? then her ex comes in and dates her again apparently he is gay. and im pretty shure gwen could be a boy but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let yall know this isnt really supposed be a dating app or drama app its a joke app and this isnt really a joke. but one last thing u guys are all biches…
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
What do you call a no r-med T-rex A T-ex
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job
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