Ex jokes

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

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My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX

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My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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