A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
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