Ex jokes

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026