On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage
what do call an ex lesbian ??? A Clitter Quitter
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
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