I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
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