What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space? SpaceX
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex? A roTHOT
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you
2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
RUS | ENG