Ex jokes

I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

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