Ex jokes

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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