Ex jokes

I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

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What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

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What do you call a no r-med T-rex A T-ex

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I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.

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What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder

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What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit

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I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there

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One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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