Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text Welcome for the rhyme
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous
Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
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