Ex jokes

So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

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Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time,look at a ugly dog,and smell the garbage

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My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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2 friends are talking and the one says, “I had a good day today, I ran into my ex.” The other guy replies, “How is that good?” The Friend says, “I was in my car.”

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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