Ex jokes

My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers

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So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it

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My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!

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So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”

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one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

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Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

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I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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