Ex jokes

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

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If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people

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What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.

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What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)

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My ex still misses me… But her aim is getting better every time!

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I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so f@cking happy.

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Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…

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Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

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I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

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some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there

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MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

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When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

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