if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
Build your ex a fire and their warm for a day. Set you ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence
My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break. If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me. I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn… If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people
Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
I wish my ex wife would take me back. :(
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher
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