Ex jokes

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.

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Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!

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What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red? My ex wife. So my ex who wouldn’t leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I’m not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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