As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!” The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.
y do orphans eat cereal with water there dad did not come back with the milk
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…
RUS | ENG
