Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right
what do you call a dad in the mirror? ( Your imagination )
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!” long pause "Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?” “Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…” then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”
To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.
My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f@cked his girl
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage
Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
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