Family jokes

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time then, she asked me flirtatiously “have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?” I said, “Nope, not yet”. She drank a little more, and said, “well, darling, tonight is your lucky night.” So she took me to her place. She took out her keys opens her door turn on the light and she yells towards upstairs "Mom, are you still awake?”

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I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.

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What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

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My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!

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jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

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dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it

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A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off” My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

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The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

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Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct

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Depression hits harder than my dad

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I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.

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