Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work… He’s a suicide bomber.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it. Guy: No I see your sister’s head
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
Bf: Do you love me? Gf: Most of time. Bf: Well it’s either yes or no. Gf: … Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me? Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again. Bf: Why? Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL. Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!! Gf: Ohh…
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