Family jokes

Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

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Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

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Guys my sisters pregnant! Im finally a dad!

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right

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If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?

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What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.

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My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

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Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping. Father: Sorry

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So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)

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Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

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I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

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One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program htm title=' so I threw my dictionary at her. ’'>and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’

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