I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
RUS | ENG
