There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
What do u call a grown up with ur sister, ur best friend
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water, jack slipped and the condom ripped now they have a daughter
What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, “Would you like to hear a joke?” “Sure” he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common? ’ “I don’t know.” “Because of me you’re both late for your next period.”
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
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