Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.
Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work… He’s a suicide bomber.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it? “ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”
Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you
RUS | ENG
