Family jokes

1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…

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My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!

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what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.

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What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”

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Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????

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Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct

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Son : "Dad, Are we pyromaniacs ?" Dad : "Yes, we arson

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My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”

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Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you

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what is a lion call as a baby cocota

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Dad: "if they jumped off a bridge would you?" Tommy: “yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!”

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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

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