A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”
A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”
I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said “I used all the milk to make your sister”
dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it
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