Family jokes

Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some

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Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.

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Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.

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jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

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One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”

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I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.

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