Family jokes

My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up

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I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

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She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!

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My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

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How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

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My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

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When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

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Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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How do you circumcise a hill billy… Kick his sister in the jaw

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What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…

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