Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: gasps whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him… then he took my dress off… Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn’t exciting, make something up!
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me? ! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f@cked his girl
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