A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out. “Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse. “Denise.” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes and that’s when he realized… Jack had f@cked Jill’s daughter
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
Son : "Dad, Are we pyromaniacs ?" Dad : "Yes, we arson
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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