What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands. So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
So I was f@cking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in… I don’t know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said “I used all the milk to make your sister”
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”
Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
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