Family jokes

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.

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Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

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Q: what’s worst fingerbanging your sister? A: finding your dads wedding ring

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After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me? ! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

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Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking

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I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”

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Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

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I love you Hebrew john

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My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

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My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

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what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.

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My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

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To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you

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