Family jokes

my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "

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My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005

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When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.

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A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um

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How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

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My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

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You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!

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roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet

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I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you

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The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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Teacher: Ok class I’m going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don’t worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

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What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.

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Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …

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