So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can’t be with her because it’s illegal to marry your sister.
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor
Depression hits harder than my dad
Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified
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