Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”
RUS | ENG
