Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
my sister reminds me of 911 one moan of OMG got everyone’s attention.
So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”
One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping. Father: Sorry
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
So there’s this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says “I’ve got an idea!”, and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies “Well for your daughter, Denise” “That’s a nice name” comments the mother, “but what about my son?” The uncle simply replies “Denephew”.
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