Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Daughter: Dad Dad: Yes honey Daughter: Im Lesbian Dad: Ok Daughter 2: Dad Dad: Yes? Daughter 2: Im lesbian too Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here Son: I do…
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
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