Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it? “ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
What runs but never stop
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.
Guys my sisters pregnant! Im finally a dad!
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
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