Family jokes

%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?” Son: “Nah, mostly men.” Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult “I know the whole truth” they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom “I know the whole truth” and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said “I know the whole truth” and his dad gave him 40$ an said don’t tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said “I know the whole truth” then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.

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The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.

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My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

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When does a joke become a dad joke? When it Leaves and never comes back

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Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister

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I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

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i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad. Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man? A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

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jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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