My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
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