I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
whats the difference between a lambo and a boner your sister didnt give me a lambo
Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said “Big whale, big whale.”
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
How do you circumcise a hill billy… Kick his sister in the jaw
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
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