Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,“whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars.” some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,“wow I can’t believe you did it! So whats your prize?” the guy says,“I don’t care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!”
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom. ” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ushe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
So I was f@cking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in… I don’t know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
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