My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters? Anna 1 Anna 2
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said “I used all the milk to make your sister”
Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone) Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about? Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry). Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
I told my dad is was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said “Hey you should CUT it out.” It was funny but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at that.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone
what do you call a dad in the mirror? ( Your imagination )
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.
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