The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out. “Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse. “Denise.” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.” I once heard my dad shout I’m going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
I told my dad is was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said “Hey you should CUT it out.” It was funny but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at that.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
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