Family jokes

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”

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How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!

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A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um

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Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

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My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

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My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.

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When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”

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Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked “mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?” “OH honey thats your monkey.” The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says “my monkey has hair on it” so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

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Daughter: Dad Dad: Yes honey Daughter: Im Lesbian Dad: Ok Daughter 2: Dad Dad: Yes? Daughter 2: Im lesbian too Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here Son: I do…

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My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up

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My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

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You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.

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daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep

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what do you call a dad in the mirror? ( Your imagination )

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