Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
y do orphans eat cereal with water there dad did not come back with the milk
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f@cked his girl
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.
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