Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…
Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they’re gone they never come back.
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,“whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars.” some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,“wow I can’t believe you did it! So whats your prize?” the guy says,“I don’t care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!”
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ushe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
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