Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
Dad: "if they jumped off a bridge would you?" Tommy: “yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!”
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right
My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
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