Family jokes

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

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What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy

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Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

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White 40 year olds love little white kids and so does trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter! So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

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What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it

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Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have Tell me answers in comment box

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Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …

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Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions? Dad: Ask your sister Daughter: But I don’t have a sister Dad: Exactly

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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best friend makes 9/11 joke you: hey my dad was inside the tower best friend: im sorry you: I always knew he was a great pilot Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because there dad never came back with the milk

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Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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