Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
I complimented my neighbor’s skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it’s their anorexic daughter. Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it. This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
I was at a friends place yesterday, and… There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter. That night the mother and father started f@cking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house. An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were f@cking the sister. I sighed at this. “Incest aside. You guys make a cute family.” I started, “So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?” They stopped instantly and went to sleep. “Thank you.” I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters? Anna 1 Anna 2
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
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