Family jokes

What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”

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2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, “where have you boys been?” 1 of them replied with, “we were all over the neighborhood, we’re mail men now.” Their snobby teen sister said, “well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters.” Then 1 of the boys said, “actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed.”

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My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Depression hits harder than my dad

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jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me

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Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone

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whats the difference between a lambo and a boner your sister didnt give me a lambo

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The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

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A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”

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How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw

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