Family jokes

what is a lion call as a baby cocota

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My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”

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Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking

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What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.

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my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”

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My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

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My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!

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%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?” Son: “Nah, mostly men.” Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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I love you Hebrew john

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

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Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…

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I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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