Family jokes

Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

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My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you

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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.

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I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

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My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

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Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet

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Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”

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