Family jokes

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”

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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.

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Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

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Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right

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This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though. Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what’s right, with all your might. 

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There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”

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I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”

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What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.

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