What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you won’t get bored there
You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.
Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
RUS | ENG
