Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water, jack slipped and the condom ripped now they have a daughter
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
White 40 year olds love little white kids and so does trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter! So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom. ” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
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