Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone
Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you won’t get bored there
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work… He’s a suicide bomber.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping. Father: Sorry
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
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