So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands. So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
what do you call a dad in the mirror? ( Your imagination )
Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????
I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
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