I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
y do orphans eat cereal with water there dad did not come back with the milk
Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!” The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.
Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have Tell me answers in comment box
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”
Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.
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