Fight jokes

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean? “oh my God, you’re such a beach”

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Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts

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What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

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What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting? I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

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What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

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19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

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What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

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what do you call 6 gay men having a fight? Rainbow six siege

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Things you never want to do in jail never piss off an inmate don’t start fights with the cops don’t drop the soap don’t run away from the cops

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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why shouldn’t you get in a fight with a dinosaur you’ll get jur ass kicked

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What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and… You know the rest.

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