Fire jokes

What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

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Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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