Fire jokes

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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