a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
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