Fire jokes

School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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