Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
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