whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
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