Fire jokes

Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

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why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

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