Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
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