Fire jokes

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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