Fire jokes

whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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