i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
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