Fire jokes

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

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What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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