Fire jokes

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels

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You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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