I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
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