Fire jokes

I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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