There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
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