Fire jokes

my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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