Fire jokes

I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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