Fire jokes

whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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