Fire jokes

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

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ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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