I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
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