Fire jokes

whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

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