Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
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