What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
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