Fire jokes

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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