Fire jokes

Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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