whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.
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