My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
RUS | ENG
