1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
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