wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
whats stephan hawkings called on fire hotwheels:)
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
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