Fire jokes

why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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