What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor
You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
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