Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels
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