Fire jokes

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site. Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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