Fire jokes

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site. Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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