I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
why was michael jackson fired as a guitar teacher because he fingerd a minor
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
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