Fire jokes

a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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