What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
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