I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
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