Fire jokes

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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