Fire jokes

You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

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What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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