Fire jokes

I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels

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What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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