yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
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