What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
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