Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
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