Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
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