Fire jokes

I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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