whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P
My little cousin’s birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming “HOT WHEELS!”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
RUS | ENG
