Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
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