Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
What do you call Stephan hawkings on fire HOT WHEELS
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”
Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
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