Fire jokes

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired. I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.

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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

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What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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