whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
whats stephan hawkings called on fire hotwheels:)
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
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