Fire jokes

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

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whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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wood fired pizza? hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O please drop a like

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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