Fire jokes

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted

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Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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