Fire jokes

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

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i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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