I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire Hot wheels
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
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