Fire jokes

I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

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Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels

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You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory? For Throwing Out the W’s A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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