Fire jokes

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire Hot wheels

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

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School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

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a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

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