Fire jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


I can’t believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean… All I did was take a day off!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026