Fire jokes

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.” “Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.” “Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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There are some sounds that everyone loves… Shoes on gravel Crackling of fire The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you Cats purring

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes

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I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said “hot wheels”

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whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it

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What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”

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