What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off. Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”
Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire? Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.
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